Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Boomers and Nursing Homes

Many of us have experienced visiting relatives in a nursing home. I have visited several over the years and my experience was not all together pleasant or unpleasant. All of them had some things in common.

They were very quiet. There were whiffs of urine in the air and the walls were painted soft relaxing colors. Those are the nursing homes of our grandparents and parents.

Let’s look ahead a few years and picture the nursing homes when the baby boomers require them. I’m guessing some Peter Maxx posters on the walls, the Stones or Beatles on the jukebox and whiffs of marijuana in the air.

Are there any other changes you can think of?


Blogger The Beltway B@stard said...

Hot rod wheel chairs with hi-fi car radios attached - Cross Town Traffic (Jimi Hendrix) sounding from my fathers I'm sure - and cafeterias designed like an old road side diner.

July 26, 2006 4:21 AM  
Blogger Sue Woo said...

REALLY loud rock and roll because we're all deaf from earlier rock and roll.

July 26, 2006 4:43 AM  
Blogger glenda said...

Oh, yes,I just don't want to end up in one!
But if i had to...and having been with my mother when she died in an Alzheimer's unit last year, the thing I found most important was the quality of staff, how caring and understanding they were. Having said that, geriatric computer stations and iPods!

July 26, 2006 4:50 AM  
Anonymous Betty Cracker said...

If they can't score any pot, they could burn incense. Or even if they do score pot, for that matter. Just like old times.

July 26, 2006 4:51 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

This gang isn't going down without a fight ... dancing barefoot on the hills.

July 26, 2006 5:46 AM  
Blogger spadoman said...

No, No nursing home for me. I have a better plan.
Like the Grandfather figure in the movie starring Dustin Hoffman, "Little Big Man". He decides to go off one day and declares it a "Good day to die". Climbs up to a funeral pier and lays down to die. It starts raining and he then changes his mind.
The point being that I want to "live" until I die, and a sentence in a nursing home is no life.
My plan is to get into a canoe here on Lake Superior, where I live in Northern Wisconsin, and shove off. The water is cold all the time, cold enough to let you slip away peacefully from hypothermia. I'll simply tip over and let nature do what it needs to.

Of course this plan may change. Did you say pot in the nursing homes? Will we be able to roll our own? Or do we have to have the pre-rolled? And what about suitable munchies for after the smoking sessions? Will they stock Cherry Garcia ice cream and warm up the hot fudge topping because that's the way I like it you know!

July 26, 2006 5:58 AM  
Anonymous Knox Rover said...

Some nursing homes are finding that having animals (dogs, cats, birds) is very positive for the residents. That's the kind of nursing home I would want. I don't think I could live (or would want to live) without interacting with animals.

I hope to be one of those hale old ladies who lives in her own home until she dies, but I also hope that I have enough sense to seek an assisted living situation should I need it before something bad happens to me.

July 26, 2006 6:51 AM  
Blogger JM said...

Sue Woo beat me to the punch on the volume control turned up WAY TOO LOUD, which is ironic because that's not really a change!

July 26, 2006 8:05 AM  
Blogger Pogo said...

Blogger SUCKS.

Monday PM - Free oxygen
Tuesday PM - 23 cent wings
Wednesday PM - 2 for 1 margaritas
Thursday PM - Dollar draft and darts
Friday PM - Beatles cover band(no cover)
Saturday PM - 2 dollar maritinis and karaoke
Sunday PM - Acoustic gospel group

July 26, 2006 8:27 AM  
Blogger Walt said...

I plan on a Viking funeral, myself.

July 26, 2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

As long as they do not seem like harbingers of death will be alright with me.

July 26, 2006 8:40 AM  
Blogger BrotherCurmudgeon said...

My dearly beloved and I have made a pack to not allow the other to land in a nursing home. We have living wills and do what we can so that we will live.

That being said I do have some thoughts about the end game.

- dancing girls for the spirit
- a doobie or two for the soul
- Chivas 18-year-old for the mind
- a masseuse for the body

All that and a bunch of leavin'-me-alone will do just fine

July 26, 2006 8:56 AM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

Cocktails on the Veranda,
Muscular Pool "Boys",
Taco &Burrito Nights,
Coed Floors,
Yoga ( the sit down kind- NOT the Hot kind),
Movie Nights,
Frig&wet bar every room Raddison Style,
Dogs and cats....everywhere.

As a nurse I have worked Nursing Homes, and I used to do pet therapy with my Bassatt at a nursing I have thought about this way too much...

July 26, 2006 9:03 AM  
Anonymous Jon said...

Rudy Rucker wrote a whole series of Science Fiction novels set in Florida. "Feezer"- Freaky Geezers- have taken over much of the state. They spend their time buying drugs from each other, listening to the Beatles, and trying to get laid. Sort of a second childhood. Being slightly younger, I have watched first generation punk musicians evolve into alt. country singers. I expect that I'll end up watching bubbles blow while Joey Shithead cranks his accordion and plays The Pennsylvania Polka.

July 26, 2006 9:51 AM  
Blogger isabelita said...

If this country keeps on the same course, there won't be any nursing homes. There will be gated communities for the surviving very rich Repubs and Others in their league, served by... who else? Illegal aliens. The rest of us boomers will have been used as a human wall against terr'ists.
Oh, ha ha, just joking.
My 88+ year old mother lives with us, so I am keenly aware of why people do not want to live in homes. However, it's a daily challenge, even with someone who's relatively active and sweet-natured.
Sigh. They are so vulnerable.

July 26, 2006 11:23 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

we have talked about nursing homes having two parents with Altzheimers. They don't remember anything but the "glory days."
But I must go;
Plenty of Viagra for my beloved,
the ability to chase him down the hall even with my walker,
I want young, handsome male nurse,
A garden atrium in the center for flowers of all sorts,
Bruce and the Beatles, although I probably won't hear it from years of concert going.
Martini's at happy hour and an afternoon siesta. Not necessarily in that order.
Oh, plenty of Cherry Garcia, Vanilla Swiss Almond and twizzlers.

July 26, 2006 11:48 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

It's starting already I forgot to say IF I must go...

July 26, 2006 11:52 AM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Never forget the healing powe of the Morning Martini... a must for any nursing home.

July 26, 2006 12:53 PM  
Blogger Ernest Oliver said...

I would have some of those cool posters that glowed under the black lights.

I had a real cool one of a giant pot stalks and a little dude running with his chainsaw.....he was hollering to an unseen person to 'not forget the rolling papers'


July 26, 2006 12:59 PM  
Blogger The Pagan Temple said...

Yeah, constant battles to contain sporadic outbreaks of gonorrhea and syphyllis.

July 26, 2006 1:14 PM  
Blogger Sothis said...

All the old geezers are going to be passing acid and tripping in their wheelchairs when a voice comes over the loudspeaker saying

"We've heard that the brown acid that is circulating might not be so good, so please be warned. But it's your own trip..."

The speaker then resumes playing Jimmy Hendrix' Greatest Hits at jet engine decibel level.

July 26, 2006 1:29 PM  
Blogger Blueberry said...

Seems like a lot of the old hippies went conservative and Republican! With my luck, I'll have to share a room with one of them. I will need a computer so I can trash-talk about the person on my blog. I will probably still be dancing to loud music (guitars, fiddles, and mandolins, always) and having some wine... for my health... keeping a pet cat if they let me... and probably smelling of urine as well. I can always blame the smell on the cat. That's where the incense comes in handy. ;-)

July 26, 2006 2:01 PM  
Blogger Chris Casey said...

First, Thanks for visiting my site, I have a new entry you might like, second, my Mom had a stroke at 78 and spent the next four years in a critical care nursing home, allowing medicare to bleed her estate dry. I'm not going in a nursing home. I don't have a plan yet, but that is a start.
However, free weed would change my mind.

July 26, 2006 2:22 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

I think they'll offer on-site cosmetic surgery and botox injection parties will be really popular.

July 26, 2006 4:22 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

Plenty of Barcardi 151 and limes must be well stocked.
And my parents (who are both in their late 50s) had this really cool dart board when I was a kid. The picture in the center of the board? Richard Nixon.
I'd like to play darts from my wheelchair. The picture in the center of the board? Hell, I'm not picky... any one of the BushCo cabal members would do.

July 27, 2006 2:40 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

Well if we must go to a home this certainly sounds like the one for me.

July 27, 2006 5:11 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

I expect designer depends. They should be very colorful...sort of Psychedelic! No...seriously!

July 27, 2006 12:01 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

I want Nursing Care at Sea - the ultimate cruise vacation, with midnight buffets every night. The Pool Bar will always open, and there will be free weekly massages for long-term residents. There will be worldwide ports of call, and handsome escorts available to assist with shore tours.

July 27, 2006 3:51 PM  
Blogger DivaJood said...

Realities: a friend of mine, who had been in a bad car accident, was sent to a nursing home recently for about a week of care. My friend, who is 66, works out like a maniac, so she was in great shape. Anyway, another of my friends went to visit her. And she stopped to speak to this elderly man in a wheel chair (this second friend is 65, and just retired.) The old guy grabbed her boobs, and screamed "I got 'em, I got 'em."

I just applied for long term care insurance, because if I have an accident, and need extended care, I don't want it to be on my kids. But I don't plan on dying in a Nursing Home. I will have a durable power of attorney, and will not linger.

Merci's comment is actually interesting: if you take a cabin on successive back to back sailings, it is less expensive than going into a home. And a good deal more fun.

July 27, 2006 5:24 PM  
Blogger Human said...

If I was not still young enough to think old sex just too creepy to think about I would say Love Ins.

Ask me when I have a few more wrinkles.


July 28, 2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

Be careful how you treat your kids. They're the ones who will pick your nursing home.

July 28, 2006 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mom is a baby boomer and she is 60 years old and puts money away every month to have a nurse come into her home when she can’t take care of herself anymore. At first I thought it was wasted money…but not so much anymore. I feel it is necessary to start putting money away for long term health care...sooner than later. What are Baby Boomers to do, due to the shortage in Nursing care?
See article on at

January 11, 2008 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Martin said...

Good Job! :)

June 07, 2008 6:12 AM  
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