National Secret Santa Drawing
We are going to have a national Secret Santa drawing of names for Christmas presents. Pick a number between one and ten. Got it? Okay, now go to the comments and see whose name you drew.
Tell us the name you drew and what gift you’ll get for them. Remember there is no limit on the amount you may spend or the amount of imagination you may use.
Tell us the name you drew and what gift you’ll get for them. Remember there is no limit on the amount you may spend or the amount of imagination you may use.
posted by pissed off patricia at 1:44 AM
50 Comments:
!. Donald Rumsfeld
2. Barney, the first dog
3. Laura Bush
4. Saddam Hussein
5. Hillary Clinton
6. The bush twins
7. Dick Cheney
8. John McCain
9. George W. Bush
10. Condi Rice
7...the Dick.
I'll spare no amount of money to get him on the next space shuttle to nowhere and a lifetime supply of buckshot for when he gets bored and decides to end it all.
To all of them, no more existence when they die. Except for George, I'm sending him to hell.
7. I will be at the launch pad with sumo, to assist and make double darn sure he catches his flight
6. The bush twins. The kindest thing would be to get them away from their family - maybe a few years in the Congo caring for the AIDS population would turn them around. I don't know. I wouldn't want to add to the AIDs victims trouble, tho.
3. Laura Bush
I'd like to get Laura a trip to a detox station to get all of those "happy pills" out of her system. Followed by some extensive therapy to get her to express her emotions and wipe that blank, vacant stare off of her face. Some instructions on how to curse and throw things at her psychopath of a husband. Then, a good divorce lawyer.
6. the twins. They need a few years of tempering and I think the Peace Corps would be appropriate.
6. the bush twins.
a cross-cultural adventure vacation. one-way tickets to opposite ends of afghanistan. they have to get back completely on their own.
#8 - John McCain- I would like to send him a thank you note for his service in Vietnam and for surviving as a POW, I didn’t randomly pick a number. I feel grateful towards a person that has served his county and I have a special caring about a person that was held as a POW.
4. Saddam. A fair trial held in a neutral country with Dubya being a tried at the same time and long imprisoned life for both after conviction.
10. Condi Rice - quite a random pick for me. Okay, I'm getting her a soul and a personality, since she seems to lack both.
Oh, my goodness, I have picked Mr. Donald Rumsfeld! Well. First, I need to purchase him a good typewriter so he can write his resume. Then I need to purchase him a good lawyer (is that team who helped Mr. O.J. Simpson available?) because he might be tried for crimes against humanity. And last, I need to get him a really good hairdresser, because he has that nasty looking Republican hairstyle.
Damn! I now wish I would have picked six, although the gift would likely be innappropiate. Such as it is, I picked seven, and For Dick Cheney, the best I can come up with is perhaps King of The entire arab world, so he can have all of the oil and we won't have to sacrifice anymore of our kids to get it.
i ended up with the bush twins too. six's is just a nice number, although i almost ended up with cheney due to my long standing obsession with sevenofnine (jeri ryan), anyway, for the bush twins i would like to donate a six month stay at the AIDS orphanage in Zambia that my friend peter runs. peter is a one time, big time, music producer who had a religious experience, sold all his stuff, and spent the money to go to Zambia and feed, clothe, and care for orphans of the AIDS epidemic there. nah, they'd never go, their grandpa would pay for somebody else to go, i'll just go cheap and get them a case of perrier-jouet '75. that was the last alcohol i ever drank. it tasted like stars.
#9.
Professional mental health care.
I just listened to his speech about his plans to become a total war monger.
He's going to ignore the people, the Congress, and his military commanders.
7 and a half.
My mind will not give up on the half.
So I get...drumroll please...
Dick Cheney!?
and a half of a gift for John McCain.
For Dicky Cheney I will buy him a new better looking puppet..that Bush puppet is just too ugly!
And for John McCain a pat on the back and a kick in the butt :)
5. Hillary Clinton - a two year bout of laryngitis for Barack Obama.
I drew the Bush twins. A TV that only receives public television, Cnn & MSNBC, a subscription to the New York Times and enough sense to know that their father is a fuckup.
8. John McCain
I would like to buy Mr. McCain a blow-up doll of George W. Bush. That way he can hug the president anytime he wants!
I just learned what Bush is getting for Condi.
I am amazed at the number of people who picked and exhibited generosity to the Bush twits, er twins. I had hardly considered them worthy of much thought, but I like the ideas put forth. But by far, my favorite gift has to be the one suggested by Liz. How could I top that?
Cool, I got Barney. lol
Oh, I forgot the present.
A holiday away from home, perhaps?
7 Dick - prison outfit, a copy of the constitution, and a jail cell made by Halliburton
Impeach. Indict. Convict. The Hague. All of 'em.
Oh yeah, I forgot about YOUR gov. Yukkers. Almost as bad as ours.
Oh great ! I picked biggus Dickus Cheney! I'm getting him:
Glasses
A book on the difference between canned quail and people
"The Wizard of Oz" so he can learn about brains, hearts and noive
This is Blueberry. I still seem to be locked out of this blog. Have I been bad? [wink]
I will buy Hillary a job as First Lady, as long as she stays married to Bill. OR if she can't stay married to Bill, just pay her to keep that Senator job.
I will buy Hillary a job as First Lady, as long as she stays married to Bill. OR if she can't stay married to Bill, just pay her to keep that Senator job.
9. George W. Bush
I would like to get him scrubs and a ticket to Baghdad ER where he can help clean the blood and flesh off Soldiers hit by IEDS. He can also collect the body parts and put them in the biohazzard barrel as well as change the blood soaked mop head.
After about 2 weeks at the Baghdad ER then I would like to have him ride point in a Hummer through Ramadi with the body armor and helmet issued to him by the U.S. military.
9. George W. Bush
I would like to get him scrubs and a ticket to Baghdad ER where he can help clean the blood and flesh off Soldiers hit by IEDS. He can also collect the body parts and put them in the biohazzard barrel as well as change the blood soaked mop head.
After about 2 weeks at the Baghdad ER then I would like to have him ride point in a Hummer through Ramadi with the body armor and helmet issued to him by the U.S. military.
Four Saddam Hussein:
A lifetime subscription to The Watch Tower magazine.
Oh, I'm feeling as generous and expansive as Scrooge after he awoke on Christmas morn to find that he was alive! So to all on that list besides Barney, who is truly innocent, and the stupid ass twins, who aren't but really can't help who their parents are, I offer nightmares for the rest of their lives of the carnage they've caused and continue to cause in this big wide world: Piles of bodies in Iraq, Afghanistan and Darfur; bloated Katrina victims floating in polluted water; Gitmo prisoners and others held in places where the torture's been outsourced, so that lying bitch Condi can say with her poker face,"We do not torture"; I want images of these and more dancing like sugar plums in these
venal criminal people's heads, as long as they live.
Spirits of Bush and Co. past, present, and future.
#8 John McCain - A great big group hug with the neo-cons.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sorry PoP...
Didn't know that you had already been tagged until after I finished, but your been Tagged.
I read your new post later as I have too go out.
God Bless
F--k, I picked George W. Bush.
Okay, for Christmas I will buy him a soul and a conscious. He is truly a sociopath, so if he receives these two gifts, even though he is a dumb sum bitch, he will see the err of his ways. He will end the war, beg for forgiveness and give us all peace.
I used to love the number 9.....oh, well. Mr Bush,
(1) 6 monthes of Duty in 9th ward, removing bodies from the houses STILL. And he is given a toothbrush, a pail, and a sppon to clean up while he is at it, and no protective wear. And then he has to stay and bury them and then he has to go to the families and explain WHY he FLEW OVER, and that he is sorry. esp Ethel Freeman, her family should be the first stop- she was the woman that died sitting by the convention center ( and her body was broadcast everywhere)
(2) AND then when he has completed his duties he should go be on Morgue Duty in Baghdad, and that includes going on the Retreival team and picking up bodies out of the marshes.
(3) And then AIDS orphanages in Africa
(4) then Homeless shelter in Cleveland...with only 4.00 in nickels .....
and last but not least after his Full year....he can begin his Crimes against Humanity trial.....and get ready for prison.
I picked seven. I think I'll buy Dick Cheney a microwave, and a year's supply of microwave popcorn.
I picked Hillary, so I rushed right out to my neighborhood wizard to buy her a magic wand, one she can wave to make everyone forget she voted to give Bush the ok to invade Iraq.
And maybe I'll pick her up some naughty little item at Victoria's Secret to help keep Bill home at night.
Oh, and a cigar.
6...The Bush Twins...a one way ticket to Iraq...am i being too harsh?
oh....from looking at the previous comments, they'll be making a stop in Afghanistan first.
I picked Laura Bush.
From me she gets a session at some sort of Stepford wife deprogramming rehab.
But just rechecked the others and pam gave her something similar. Of well it might take several tries.
Aw, damnit. What should one purchase for Laura Bush? Lessons in not marrying down?
I love this, PoP!
AG drew John McCain. We're going to spend Christmas Day together working on his MySpace page.
O! The present I have for Bush,
With a bah hum and a bit of bug,
Comes not wrapped nor bowed,
But filled in after it's happily dug;
A hell-deep and pitch-black hole!
I really didn't pick a number, however like isabelita says Barney in innocent and needs too be sent to a real loving home.
For all the rest though I would pray that my Lord sends them all to Hell as soon as possible, thereby saving the World from the total destruction these evil S.O.B.'s are leading us too.
God Bless.
Hi Patricia ... you're a dream with your creative contributions like this one to Blogging.
I scrolled through the ten you had listed but couldn't find the name I was looking for.
If you don't mind, I'd like to break protocol and add an eleventh name, new Defense Secretary Robert Gates.
This is my selection and my gift to him would be a one way ticket to Guantanimo Prison, Cuba. Once there, he should be tortured for his crimes contributing to the illegal war in Nicaragua two decades ago.
Thanks for stopping by my Blog The Cosmic Message several days ago and offering your Christmas wish for peace in 2007. Your words were well chosen. Please add me to your Blog Roll if you display one.
Don't be a stranger in the future. :)
Happy Holidays & Peace,
Cosmic
Michael Bains and Abi...you really made me laugh uproariously...(did I spell that right?)...I'm still laughing damnit!
{-; Looks right to me, Sumo. ;-}
Thanks for the exercise in stress reduction, POP.
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