Thursday, August 31, 2006

Something Weird?

Because Mr. Pop drives his work truck home and because on the side of that truck you see the profile of a sea turtle and beneath the name of his firm the words; “Environmental Consulting”, Mr. Pop has become the neighborhood go to guy for questions about all things crawly.

A few weeks ago the lady next door cornered him to ask how she can keep a gopher tortoise from coming into her yard and leaving “turtle poop” behind. Mr. Pop tried to tactfully reassure her that gopher tortoise “poop” was not a major crisis in a human being’s life.

Last night we were about to sit down to dinner when our door bell rang. At the front door was another neighbor from four houses down. She was holding something wrapped in a paper towel. She gently unfolded the paper towel to expose what appeared to be a small egg. She wanted Mr. Pop to identify this egg she found in her yard under some mulch. Mr. Pop said to the best of his knowledge it was most likely a snake egg and the best thing to do was to put it back where she found it. The lady seemed reluctant to do that and she informed him there were two others where she found this one. It appeared that neighbor lady didn’t want anything to do with this little egg and wasn’t going to leave. Mr. Pop told her we would bury the egg in our backyard and she should leave the other two where they were. This seemed to appease neighbor lady and her final words were, “I just don’t want something weird to hatch in my yard”.

What the hell? Something “weird”? What did she think might emerge from that little egg, an alien? That’s what’s wrong with a lot of people, they don’t understand their natural environment or appreciate its diversity. They think if it isn’t human, if it isn’t cute and furry, it’s weird and should be done away with.

We’ll keep an eye on the little egg’s new nest and if we see something “weird” hatch in our yard, I’ll let you know.


Anonymous Knox Rover said...

I'm forever amazed at people who move to the country. They can't believe they have to deal with "all of those animals" and usually immediately begin eradicating them. Here in San Diego, that usually means killing every coyote, crow, and jack rabbit that sets foot or paw on their property. I wish they'd move to a downtown condo so they can live in a sterile, nature-free environment.

August 31, 2006 5:33 AM  
Blogger BBC said...

I’ve got spiders, lots of ‘em. They are fun to watch at times, and keep the other bugs down. Coons and quail visit me. Also gulls and, oh shoot, lots of critters, even deer, and I live in town. Not in the heart of town though. The heart of this town is ran by idiots.

August 31, 2006 6:06 AM  
Blogger BrotherCurmudgeon said...

When "weird" events occur around our home my spouse always reminds me that "the average IQ is 100." Like when folk build a house in the deep woods and then complain that bears and deer and turkeys are always "in our yard."
Duuuuh. It's YOU who have invaded THEIR territory.

August 31, 2006 6:11 AM  
Blogger Walt said...

Having a snake or other wholly natural creature hatch out of one of those eggs wouldn't be "weird."

Now, having an entire new universe erupt from that eggshell - THAT would be weird.

August 31, 2006 6:26 AM  
Blogger L>T said...

Oh, I'm liking you more & more!

I do not understand that mind set either. I've never thought of any critters as 'weird'.

As a matter of fact you gave me a good idea for a post. :)

August 31, 2006 6:52 AM  
Blogger Donnie McDaniel said...


That was one of those days that you just wanna say:

Look lady, I can assure you that no republican is gonna come out of that damn egg!!

August 31, 2006 7:23 AM  
Blogger Blueberry said...

Some people should just pave the yard. That way there's not as much danger that something might want to live in it (except certain humans -- the ones that are not part of "nature")

August 31, 2006 8:11 AM  
Blogger Chancelucky said...

If it's a snake egg, it might have little Ann Coulter's inside, so I don't blame your neighbor for being afraid of it.

August 31, 2006 8:24 AM  
Anonymous rebellious renee said...

donnie mcdaniel....very funny!

PoP....lots of city slickers move to my small town...and they think it's weird that it's a 25 minute drive to the nearest McDonald's...

I LOVE nature invading my yard...
although, I do wish the bears wouldn't destroy my birdfeeders...
oh well...guess it keeps Yankee Droll in business (smile)

August 31, 2006 8:42 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Stupid neighbors, that is why I want to move away into a wooded area, it is OK I can handle the weird stuff, and make sure my neighbors do not have easy access to the house. Like I will put poles up with skulls on top of the poles to warn people away. Neighbors are annoying.

I remember a woman complaining that people should just live in cities because they do not belong in nature.
I think people forget that we are animals too, but that seems to escape their mythological driven minds.


August 31, 2006 9:08 AM  
Blogger Frederick said...

What,is a baby Rumsfeld going to peck it's way out of there?

August 31, 2006 9:42 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

stuff like that makes me laugh out loud. i leave the spiders and stuff in barn alone and consequently have much less flying insect shit to deal with. i also don't kill the snakes (not even rattlers) because they are rat, mice, and gopher killing machines. i know that they are there and take a few simple precautions as i do my chores. i do take defensive and sometimes lethal measures when it comes to my truck patch though. goddam rabbits. something about them just says fricasee to me.

August 31, 2006 10:05 AM  
Blogger Karen McL said...

Yep ya have to be careful with your *wording*...our HVAC company used the words Environmental Controls (meaning Air conditioning and Heat). We got all sorts of weird assumptions that we were everything from animal control to toxic waste clean up.


But you might want to consider a wildlife refuge center (look in the phone book for on near you) for that egg. They would incubate it according to its needs (because they'd be sure to know what it is) and return it to it proper place in the wild when it hatches.

August 31, 2006 10:46 AM  
Blogger Sothis said...

People like that usually would also like to get rid of all the bees because they might get stung--until they realize that without them, pollinization fails and we don't have food to eat.

As Jim says to Bart in Blazing Saddles:

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."

August 31, 2006 10:47 AM  
Blogger Sammi2u said...

My family has a house in northern Maine and the neighbors moved up form Boston and put bug lights EVERYWHERE I swear they had @ least a dozen of them, it was hilarious because that far up in Maine they have black flies April –October and those damn things were going off 24/7! Amazes me how some people think they want the country life yet really would prefer the idea of country life. Lol let us know if aliens pop out of that egg……

August 31, 2006 12:05 PM  
Anonymous karena said...

Sothis, what a great quote!

August 31, 2006 12:07 PM  
Anonymous pekka said...

What a great blog! What great comments!

August 31, 2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger shutterwi said...

It's a good thing he doesn't work for Hooters ;)

August 31, 2006 3:03 PM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

It is truly amazing how far many people have drifted from an understanding of their place in the world.
I get so excited when I see new wildlife in my yard I find it hard to understand how many people are afraid of the world.
Granted some is more acceptable than others but they all have their place.
Maybe you should ask the lady with the snake eggs if she would prefer rats.

August 31, 2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger Karen McL said... your note...good to know that eggy is in good hands then. And hope it hatches into something wonderful!

(but don't let it grow up to get near any *planes* eh?)


August 31, 2006 5:24 PM  
Blogger Turtle Guy said...

"turtle poop"! I love it!! To the best of my knowledge, Turtle Poop hasn't hurt me any either!

Snakes and birds and all things hatched have been around far longer than we have... I find this story amusing - thanks for the smile!

August 31, 2006 7:49 PM  
Anonymous Betty Cracker said...

I wish I heard a gopher tortoise in my yard -- it could poop as it pleased without censure from me.

My hubby rescued a little harmless snake another neighbor was poised to dispatch with a hoe the other day. Mr Cracker stopped the attempted snake-i-cide, captured the reptile and tossed it into our back yard.

Now, I'm not fond of snakes, and the feeling is heartily mutual. But I don't begrudge sharing the planet with them and don't understand why people do. They are the weirdos in my book.

August 31, 2006 7:59 PM  
Blogger Human said...

"Turtle Poop Soup"
Just something that popped into my weird head.

Your story reminds me of a rabbit I befriended. I used to take care of lawns. Spraying pesticide and throwing fertlizer around. On one account I went to spray at, I found a domestic rabbit running free in the fenced in backyard. He came running right up to me and as I crouched down leapt right into my arms. I never met such an affectionate rabbit. The lawn itself was the most weedfree I have ever seen. I would not have sprayed anyway. later I learned none of the other guys spray either. Seems the rabbit took care of that by hisself.

I loved to go to that account and play with the rabbit.
The rabbit is the only thing I miss about that job.

I can't wait to know what's comes out of the egg.


August 31, 2006 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Knox Rover said...

Rats? Why is everyone down on rats? I have three pet rats (in addition to four cats). They're as affectionate as the rabbit Human described above.

Wild rats live in the bushes and brick wall outside my apartment complex. They help clean up the mess humans make on the sidewalk and parking lot. There's also a family of racoons living in the storm drain down on the street. I like catching a glimpse of them all.

August 31, 2006 8:43 PM  
Blogger Bryan said...

This is like the people who buy houses next to the airport and complain about the noise.

People should be happy when they find living things in their yard; it means it isn't so polluted that it will no longer support life.

The guy I rent from is constantly being hassled to redevelop his property and eminent domain has been mentioned. I found a Gulf Coast box turtle on the property, and that ended the problem. It's an endangered species and its "habitat" is protected. I don't begrudge the turtle its protection, even if the annoying little bugger eats the food I put out for the feral cats.

August 31, 2006 9:47 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

I rented a storage unit in the Bahamas for a year - at one point I went in to get something out of some boxes, and found a bunch of little white eggs - lizard eggs! Next time I came back, they were all hatched out. I thought it was neat.

Bryan, hope your feral cats aren't about to eat your Gulf Coat Box Turtle! I love kitties, but the wild ones play havoc with the native wildlife in the Bahama islands.

September 01, 2006 4:23 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

I wouldn't want anything weird and walking on two legs to move in 4 houses down from me, either.

September 01, 2006 4:25 PM  

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