Sunday, April 09, 2006

What became of this little girl

Today is this little girl’s birthday.

This little girl had a hell of a childhood. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother was codependent and an enabler. Her mother was much more concerned about her father than she was the little girl. This little girl had to grow up long before she should have. Her childhood was a nightmare.

There was one particular rainy night when she was only eight years old. Her family lived in what would now be referred to as “the projects”. The so-called homes were actually military housing that even the military didn’t want anymore. Her daddy was drunk and raising hell for more liquor. There was no way her momma was going to let him drive in that condition so she left the little girl at home with her sister, who was almost two, and she drove the little girl’s daddy to accommodate his addiction. The little girl cried because she didn’t want to be left at home on that dark and rainy night. That didn’t stop them from leaving her though. As they drove away, the baby woke up and began to cry. The little girl went in and picked the baby up. She carried the baby with her to the closed backdoor . The upper half of the door was a glass window. The little girl just stood there holding the crying baby and looking out into the darkness. All she saw was her own reflection in the glass pane. She leaned her face against the cold glass and she cried too. The raindrops were running down the glass on the outside and her tears were running down the glass on the inside. She was so afraid. She felt so helpless. She worried, what if they didn’t come back? Why wouldn’t the baby stop crying? Then she realized that no one was going to help her. There was no one to turn to. She had to do this all by herself. That night was a turning point for the little girl in so many ways. Her parents did come back safe and sort of sound and she and the baby were okay. Maybe that was the night she learned that no matter how hard and sad and frightening life could be, she could get through it.

I believe that was the night when that little girl decided there would be nothing she couldn’t handle. I believe that was the night she became determined never to give up. I know there were times when she wondered if she wanted to keep going, times when she doubted the struggle would produce anything of value. But she hung in there. She let no one get her down. She did everything she could to overcome all the obstacles carelessly thrown in her path.

Had this little girl not been the person that she was, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Thanks to that strong and determined little girl, my life is different today. I owe her my gratitude. She was just a little girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders but she struggled on, and as a result, today I am the woman that I am. She lit the candles and she made the wishes, and because of her I am able to blow out the candles and see her wishes come true. I surely owe a debt of gratitude to the little girl I was when life was so lonely and so sadly difficult. She created my strength and my determination. Because of her decisions, today I have the life she always dreamed I would have. I’m having a very happy birthday today and watching all my wishes come true. That little girl is very happy too.


Blogger enigma4ever said...

Dear Lady...that was so beautiful and so wondrous and so amazing and so moving..I lit candles for you and for the light and truth that you one can blow out that kind of truth...Little girls grow up through uncertain times to be Great Women....and at 6am I was lucky enough to read this blog by one such woman...

April 10, 2006 3:02 AM  
Blogger Nash said...

As Humphrey Bogart said, in "Casablanca,"

"Here's looking at you, kid."

April 10, 2006 3:23 AM  
Anonymous Asta said...

Happy Birthday to a very special lady.

April 10, 2006 4:01 AM  
Anonymous rebellious renee said...

I feel privilaged to know such a strong woman.


Yo Soy Mujer!

April 10, 2006 4:19 AM  
Anonymous Anita said...

"Thanks to that strong and determined little girl, my life is different today. I owe her my gratitude. She was just a little girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders but she struggled on, and as a result, today I am the woman that I am."

Best wishes for a VERY, very happy birthday, POP ... from one "strong determined little girl" who had "a hell of a childhood" with "the weight of the world on her shoulders" to another.

"She did everything she could to overcome all the obstacles CARELESSLY [emphasis mine] thrown in her path."

THIS particular little girl / woman is not quite "very happy" yet ... but she's certainly getting there. And reading your story and seeing someone else ... "like me" who "created [her] strength and [her] determination" ... was an amazing thing for me this morning.

I'm far from religious, but sometimes I think "god" (or fate, or whatever) puts things under your nose and and says, "hey, READ THIS!"

Thank you. And BEST BEST BEST to you on YOUR special day. You certainly deserve it. Today, and every day.

April 10, 2006 4:39 AM  
Blogger aikane said...

You done good, girl! A big hug and Happy Birthday from the Lakeland boys. We love you.

April 10, 2006 5:01 AM  
Blogger Zya said...

Beautiful post. I can relate more than I want to admit...

But I am still trying to work out how to heal the little girl.

You write very well :)

April 10, 2006 5:23 AM  
Blogger Left of Center said...

Happy Birthday Pop, enjoy it with your family.

April 10, 2006 5:46 AM  
Blogger Trial.Lawyer.Richard said...


April 10, 2006 6:02 AM  
Blogger Frederick said...

...and many more!!!

April 10, 2006 6:15 AM  
Blogger Zya said...

Happy Birthday btw, how could I neglect to say that?

My birthday was just the other day... April 3rd!

Thanks for your comment on my blog too :)

April 10, 2006 6:44 AM  
Blogger Pogo said...

Wonderful post, wonderful journey. Tell Mr. PoP to treat you very special tonight and have one on us.

April 10, 2006 7:31 AM  
Blogger eProf2 said...

PoP, have a great day. What a very nice post. You are, indeed, a great wordsmith as your story shows. Happy Birthday!

April 10, 2006 7:35 AM  
Blogger SB Gypsy said...

Happy B-day, POP, hope it was a great one!

My hubby had a father like that, and I know how it twisted his life. It takes a long time to sort out. Glad you became who you are!

April 10, 2006 8:22 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Finally, the gremlins went away. Happy Birthday PoP. In case you didn't catch it in the other place. Write me at I have a story to send you.

April 10, 2006 8:32 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

Happy Birthday! Touching story- but you are certainly a "happy ending". Thank you for sharing and for all that you contribute.

April 10, 2006 9:02 AM  
Blogger Rook said...

Happy Birthday! Oh, and I did finally see your comments on my blog. Your welcome!

April 10, 2006 9:33 AM  
Blogger The Fat Lady Sings said...

Happy Birthday, honey! Glad you made it through. I understand. Been there - done that - emerged with my soul intact. It is possible to transcend one's beginnings. Bravo.

April 10, 2006 9:38 AM  
Blogger Chancelucky said...

Happy Birthday Patricia! and to the little girl too, I'm hoping I read that right :}

April 10, 2006 10:12 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

She still has a smile, no matter what.

April 10, 2006 10:52 AM  
Blogger Marisa said...

Happy Birthday...a day late, but just as sincere nonetheless.

Interesting people you share your birthday with: eprof2 and Joe Scarborough (I'm sure there are more, but that's all i know off the top of my head).

Great post POP, thanks for sharing.

April 10, 2006 11:51 AM  
Blogger shutterwi said...

Happy Birthday and one big IOU a hug.

April 10, 2006 1:32 PM  
Blogger windspike said...

Happy B-Day, where ever you are.

April 10, 2006 2:02 PM  
Anonymous ds said...

POP, I'm sorry for all you went through. I'm glad you've made it to a great place.

I hope you have a very happy birthday.

April 10, 2006 4:22 PM  
Blogger glenda said...

There is a birthday present for you on my blog, patricia, strong sister to us all.

April 10, 2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger andrew said...

Gee, I wish I had seen this yesterday. A belated happy birthday to a very gitfed writer... and a very sweet person.

April 10, 2006 4:40 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Happy birthday.

April 10, 2006 5:11 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Ditto. Many returns...

April 10, 2006 5:22 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Thank you and I am absolutely sure the sweetest people on the internet(s) visit the Morning Martini. I'm also absolutely sure that I love you guys.
Thank you for making this one of the most special birthdays of my life.

April 10, 2006 5:27 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Pop, Thank you for the email. Reading the comments on this your day and seeing that there seem to be so many with similar situations, I'm tempted to post "The Juggler" on my blog. It's long. What do you think? Would it help others?

April 10, 2006 5:36 PM  
Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

A very happy birthday to a darling little girl.

April 10, 2006 5:48 PM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

Wow, PoP. What an amazing tale. I'm glad to see it had a happy ending. I'm very proud of you, and so it seems is everyone else here.

Happy Birthday, Patricia.

April 10, 2006 6:01 PM  
Blogger the depressed nurse said...

Very powerful story. I'm sorry you had to grow up in a home like that but glad you made it stronger woman.

Happy belated birthday, may you have many more and a wonderful life of love and happiness.

Enjoyed finding your blog.

April 10, 2006 6:10 PM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Better late than never. Pop Happy Birthday from another April 10 Baby.

Boy howdy are we at least similar in one area. I finally recaptured my little girl. I fought for her because I liked her so much more than the person I was becoming after that assault I told you about. I am so glad She and I found each other again. Because we are so happy! Boy that sounds weird.....but happy!

We Aries everywhere are a resiliant bunch and very left wing too....LOL

April 10, 2006 8:05 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

I'm late for the party...but MANY happy returns of the day. Birthdays are fun! Hope you got all that you wanted deserve've worked hard for it.

April 11, 2006 1:55 AM  
Anonymous joe S. the "new" guy said...

Happy Birthday and peace in your heart, PoP

April 11, 2006 4:12 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Happy Belated Birthday! You are living proof of the expression: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

God bless.

April 11, 2006 7:07 AM  
Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

That was beautiful. Happy birthday. I wish I could give you a hug (and I wish I could punch your parents in the face). Hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I'm glad you are happy.

April 11, 2006 10:11 AM  
Anonymous The Heretik said...

A little late. Happy birthday.

April 11, 2006 6:29 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

very beautiful and brave ... happy day to you

April 11, 2006 7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A belated Happy Birthday to you PoP!

April 14, 2006 12:47 PM  
Blogger Auntie Roo said...

Heh. That anonymous was me.

April 14, 2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

Happy belated birthday. That was a touching and remarkable story.

April 14, 2006 6:54 PM  
Anonymous Birsen Sahin said...

You made me go years and years back, the time that papa drunk too much.

December 02, 2006 6:38 PM  

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