Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Things I didn’t realize

I knew for the last three years I had slept and eaten according to Murphy’s schedule. Being his primary caregiver and caretaker had become a big part of my days and my life. What I didn’t realize until this last week, is what a large part of my life it was.

Slowly, I have realized I can do things purely on my own schedule now. I’m still trying to get used to that. It’s a strange feeling because as any pet owner knows, pets have needs that must be tended to at any time, especially older pets.

We are also feeling the relief of no longer dreading the inevitable. We had fought so hard to try to avoid what was surely coming and dreaded it all like hell. It’s over now. It’s not something we must dread anymore. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, there is a certain relief that comes with that.

We have decided, for now, we will not add another dog to our family. We need a timeout. We need to learn to live without Murphy and not try to make another little dog be Murphy. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone concerned.

We think probably one morning we will open the front door and see a little dog sitting there on the welcome mat, looking back at us. He’ll probably say, Hi, I’m your new dog! And he’ll walk right in with all his little belongings in tow. Another cycle will begin.

28 Comments:

Blogger WeezieLou said...

i always thought losing a pet should by right up there with other major live losses. and i recognize the 'animals come first' life rule. my friends often say that if they die before me, they want to come back as one of my pets. these precious creatures are so much more evolved than people in so many ways - unconditional love, forgiveness, forever entertaining - even when just sitting there. i lost a beloved pet in december, after having lost my mother 2 months before, and i sobbed for both. the loss of my precious burmese just made it all come up.

hang in there.

February 19, 2008 2:27 AM  
Blogger ZILLA said...

You are very aware and wise, PoP.

February 19, 2008 2:54 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

Good decision. Let all the old habits that were Murphy centric fade away and maybe you'll be ready to give a home to another little guy and it will be on a new foundation.
Madam and I have brought another dog into the house after losing our two beagles. We travel and a gone a lot and it would not be fair to a pet. It is a shame though having this big 1 acre fenced playground with rabbits and chipmunks and squirrels galore. It is really a beagle heaven.

February 19, 2008 3:31 AM  
Blogger FranIAm said...

The gift of wisdom is yours PoP.

Wishing you peace.

February 19, 2008 4:58 AM  
Blogger nolocontendere said...

A new dog will come into your life at just the right moment, sometimes not apparent to you when it happens.
The best to you.

February 19, 2008 5:53 AM  
Blogger niCk (Mem Beth) said...

HHMM. Maybe I need to pack my things and mosey on down your way.

I know I'd be treated well. What you think of big dogs?

February 19, 2008 5:56 AM  
Blogger betmo said...

i have a feeling that there is like a stray pet telephone line that goes around- and all of those little buggers know where to go to find the best home. kind of like the good treats at halloween :) i have a feeling that you are right- when the time is right (and how they know is still a mystery to me) a perfect little dog will be sitting outside canoodling with fred and getting the skinny on ya'll :) hugs

February 19, 2008 5:57 AM  
Blogger Forty Paws said...

The little doggy will show up with a bandana tied to a stick, carrying all his worldly possessions...

Luf, Us

February 19, 2008 6:12 AM  
Blogger La Belette Rouge said...

When we lost Sparkey in July many people asked if we were going to get a new pet--as if he could be replaced. I felt a strong knowing that I needed to leave the space empty and in time we would add another member to our furry family. But, replace? Never.

And with all of your love and care, there is no doubt that someday another animal will find its way into your heart.

February 19, 2008 6:14 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

I love dogs & cats, but have found over all the years cats are best if ya travel alot!
You are smart to give yourself a break, I am sure something else will occupy your precious time.
Maybe you & the cat can take speed typing classes so he can type your blogs faster?

February 19, 2008 6:29 AM  
Blogger dguzman said...

When my first kitty Boopie passed away (same as you, we had to make The Decision), we made ourselves wait for about a year. I think it's best that way, so the next baby/babies can just have you all to themselves.

February 19, 2008 7:41 AM  
Blogger robin andrea said...

A very lucky dog is going to find you and Mr. PoP someday. I hope you're still posting then, so we can see the photos!

February 19, 2008 8:11 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

some of my favorite critters are the ones that simply barged into my life.

February 19, 2008 8:16 AM  
Blogger pogo2 said...

PoP, Been an age. Sorry. So sorry to hear about Murphy, but 16 years is a good run. The nitwit mutt we have now, who is actually becoming a decent family member after 2 1/2years, was a Wal-mart dog - Mrs. P called me while I was in Birmingham a couple of years ago tending to details of my Father's and Mother's estates to "ask" me if it would be OK to buy a dog from a box in the parking lot to give Little Pogo a buddy to replace his old dog, Sam. Of course I said sure - knowing that Livvy would be my dog to train, feed, housebreak, put outside, all that jazz. I found out when I got home that she had already gotten Livvy when she called. Life goes on. Give Mr. PoP my regards.

February 19, 2008 8:34 AM  
Blogger Swinebread said...

I'm glad you are taking your time to heal and rest...

February 19, 2008 8:55 AM  
Blogger RebelliousRenee said...

PoP....
Rick and I did the same thing after our last dog....
that was about 13 or maybe 14 yrs ago..... we've had lots of cats since then, but no dogs..... we travel too much and as someone above already mentioned, it's waaaay easier to travel with only owning cats.....

I will admit that the "urge" to have another dog has been getting stronger lately...... I trust you'll know when the time is right....

until then.... take care.....

February 19, 2008 9:36 AM  
Blogger D.K. Raed said...

Sometimes it seems as though my life has been a series of stray animals. Our 14-yr old Lab showed up as a stray at our front gate one day. When I look at her now, arthritic & deaf & frail, I wonder if she still remembers how happy we all were, how powerful & energetic she was, how she chased crows & horses & squirrels & never let a thrown ball go unanswered. All our pets have been strays, and they've all been the best, every one. I firmly believe they find you!

February 19, 2008 9:51 AM  
Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

The dog will come when you and the hubby are ready.

February 19, 2008 2:17 PM  
Blogger ThePoliticalCat said...

Hi, PoP, just checking on you m'dear. Your post on Murphy brings tears to our vinegary old ducts. What can I say? You're right about so many things. Especially timeout.

After Casa de Los Gatos lost Mephisto, we were a little too quick to adopt Faridah Peeples (who lived up to her name). It's best to wait till the new harbinger of love arrives of its ownself. Best wishes.

February 19, 2008 4:03 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Years ago when I was a kid we had a dog that my dad would make me take out for a walk every night. I thought I hated it, but when we finally had to have the dog put down, I missed taking him for that nightly walk for years to come.

February 19, 2008 5:47 PM  
Blogger Colonel Colonel said...

It's true. I used to live according to my dog's schedule, then the duck's schedule, now out cats schedule.

You don't realize it at the time. It's sad, but wonderful.

Life is caring for your fellow beings.

February 19, 2008 6:14 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

We do miss them when they're gone.

Baby Mackie will be 14 in June, Abby is 15, and Bonnie will be 16 next month... so we could have a rash of death and bereavement at Snave House during the next couple of years. The trio is certainly slowing down.

It has softened the blow somewhat to have Zeke and Zeva. Zeke is only about 6 months old and he already weighs about 10 pounds... I'll post some pictures of the kitties in the near future, and I will let you know when!

February 19, 2008 7:28 PM  
Blogger ThePoliticalCat said...

PoP, I made you a funny and I didn't even eated it.

February 19, 2008 9:12 PM  
Blogger Fixer said...

It's amazing how we've come to run our lives on Shayna's schedule over the past 10 years. I realized it a few years back, and then I realized I'm really not the one in charge here. ;)

February 20, 2008 3:00 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Well said, PoP. Murphy led a very fortunate life.

February 20, 2008 10:01 AM  
Blogger The Future Was Yesterday said...

We think probably one morning we will open the front door and see a little dog sitting there on the welcome mat, looking back at us. He’ll probably say, Hi, I’m your new dog! And he’ll walk right in with all his little belongings in tow. Another cycle will begin.
For your sake, I hope and pray. There are many puppies hoping and praying right now in pounds that tomorrow isn't their last day to find some one to own..(:

February 20, 2008 10:25 PM  
Blogger Distributorcap said...

POP --- you will know when it is right.....

healing time is important........

nothing will replace murphy, but just think, he will always be in your family's heart --- and that love never goes away.

February 21, 2008 4:38 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

I agree, you'll know when you're ready. We were surprised how soon we felt ready for another dog after we lost Alice. We did find we compared their personalities a lot - but not in a bad way. It was more that we were celebrating their unique differences. Their personalities are all their own, that is for sure. You never forget any of them and none can ever be replaced. But your heart has room to love an indefinite number of wonderful pets.

February 22, 2008 8:44 PM  

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