Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Thank You, from the bottom of my heart

Yesterday I tried to thank each of you for you kind expressions, thoughts and understanding, but I was just a mess and couldn’t keep doing it. I was crying and couldn’t see what I was typing.

I did what I always do when I am troubled, I cleaned. I cleaned especially in the dining room where Murphy’s bed was kept. Before, I hated to disturb him if he was sleeping during the day. He would be so proud of “his room” if he could see it now, it’s spic and span.

Then I went on a window cleaning spree. You say to make it rain you have to wash your car? That is so 90’s thinking. In this new era, the best way to make it rain is to clean the windows in your home. I can attest to that, but hey, the rain blew against clean windows.

Once again, I thank each and every one of you for being my friend at a time when friendship becomes a healer of the heart.

34 Comments:

Blogger ZILLA said...

Good girl.

You know, I wonder what percentage of us cope with our troubles by cleaning. I do it, you do it -- anyone else out there do it?

The happy memories will return sooner than you think, but you gotta give the tears their time, too. You hang in there, PoP. We're all thinking of you.

February 13, 2008 3:39 AM  
Blogger FranIAm said...

PoP- it is a gift to be your friend and to share moments of both joy and sorrow. That is how life is.

And yes- there is some natural rhythm to that window/rain (formerly car/rain) pattern, is there not?

Well, take the time that you and your heart need, to clean, to weep, to do what you need to.

It is my experience that the loss of an animal companion is the hardest to bear because their love for us is so unconditional. Even the best human relationships are that way - human.

Our animals just simply love.

Peace to you my sister.

February 13, 2008 4:06 AM  
Blogger niCk (Mem Beth) said...

{{{{{{{PoP}}}}}}}

February 13, 2008 4:52 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I know how it is to lose an animal that you've had for a long time. Glad you found a way to get through the day. Cleaning doesn't work for me like a road trip does.

February 13, 2008 4:55 AM  
Blogger Undeniable Liberal said...

Hang in there, POP.

February 13, 2008 5:30 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

What Fran said.

February 13, 2008 5:31 AM  
Blogger Forty Paws said...

Good for you. Much healthier than eating your way through the grief. And so few people actually clean windows anymore. They look so nice once they are sparkling, even if only for a short time...

Luf, Us

February 13, 2008 5:32 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

From experience I can tell you that it will be hard for a while. Little things will remind you of all the good and bad times you had with Murphy. Accidentally drop something edible on the kitchen floor and you'll remember him swooping in for the snack.It has been years since we had dogs around the house and I still miss the occasional cold nose coming up and asking for a pat or scratch. Time will help the hurt but it won't damage the love.

February 13, 2008 5:51 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

i clean too!

wonder why?

February 13, 2008 5:58 AM  
Blogger robin andrea said...

I've been away from the internets for a few days, so I just read your post about Murphy. I am so sorry you had to face that heartbreaking decision, but out of absolute love, you made the right one. Your heart will mend because a piece of it will always be filled with Murphy love.

February 13, 2008 7:48 AM  
Blogger roger said...

i can only wish for a keeper as compassionate as you when i get as feeble as murphy was.

February 13, 2008 7:56 AM  
Blogger WeezieLou said...

hugs.

February 13, 2008 7:58 AM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

Patricia,
So sorry to hear about your loss. Best wishes to you, Mr. PoP, and Fred the Cat.

February 13, 2008 8:29 AM  
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Well, it's therapeutic for me. I feel I get something done that I have control over basically. I feel for your loss, having faced this with my last Cat.

February 13, 2008 9:03 AM  
Blogger Jazz said...

We seem to deal in the same way... Each time we had to have one of the cats put down I cleaned up a storm. And after doing it 5 times (the last time two years ago) we decreed that there would be no animals for a couple of years... It's just too draining. Very clean, but draining.

February 13, 2008 9:15 AM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

POP, missed your most recent post about Murphy and was so sorry to come here and find out the sad news. I can totally relate since we had to let our previous dog Alice go back in 2005. It's a hard decision, but you know it's the right thing to do for them, when they are no longer enjoying life or are feeling sick and unhappy.

I know what you mean, you tend to want to clean, sort of like a symbol of the end of an era, or perhaps it's a rebirth.

It will be so hard for a while...I hope you find peace and joy in your memories of Murphy. Hugs to you and your family...

February 13, 2008 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Zilla wants to do some cleaning
shes welcome to come over anytime
and get crackin.She can also bring me a beer.

February 13, 2008 10:43 AM  
Blogger annie said...

when i feel sad, i'm just sad.
cleaning is the last thing on my mind.i get myself outside, to the beach or something. having a compulsive-cleaner-martyr mother saved me from a life of cleaning as therapy.

February 13, 2008 10:49 AM  
Blogger annie said...

p.s. sorry you lost your good pal, pop.

February 13, 2008 10:49 AM  
Blogger Gort said...

You want to have them forever but it doesn't work that way. You have 16 years of wonderful memories. So sorry PoP.

February 13, 2008 12:14 PM  
Blogger D.K. Raed said...

I don't clean, I organize! I do eventually vacuum the last dog hairs and clean the nose marks off the walls & doors & windows. At first, it's so sad finding an old hidden toy & other little things. Later, they trigger good memories. And you have lots of good memories, shared over many years with Murphy. Even if he didn't recognize you at the end, he was still the same guy. See, he just sent you a little rain to thank you for cleaning the windows!

February 13, 2008 12:17 PM  
Blogger an average patriot said...

POP
you'll be alright just keep your mind busy fo a while. You're going to have a hell of a clean house. Take care!

February 13, 2008 2:42 PM  
Blogger The Culture Ghost said...

Hell, any time I feel uncomfortable I clean.

Take care of yourself over the next few days...these things take time.

What am I saying...I still think about all the Great Cats that have passed through my life (Hilda the deaf cat we inherited when she was 17 or my first tame "feral", Me The Louie...) and I well up a bit. I have more fond memories of them than I do of either of my grandmothers, who both mean and manipulative women.

Damn, I may have to pull out the photo albums when I get home...to look at cats.

February 13, 2008 3:01 PM  
Blogger FranIAm said...

PoP- I am here again on behalf of DistributorcapNY, who is on some crazy cruise with his extended family.

It has rained every day and he can't get blog pages to load easily, so he has not yet been able to come send his condolences and friendship to you.(i had emailed him and told him about murphy- dcap is the biggest animal lover ever ever ever and i know he loves your blog.)

Anyway he did send me a brief email asking me to come say that he will be by when he gets back next week but that he sends his every good thought and he is so sorry for your loss.

February 13, 2008 3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, your dog had canine dementia and you have liberal dementia! I wonder if your dumb dog was just faking his illness so you'd put him out of the misery of listening to you whine about Bush?

February 13, 2008 6:48 PM  
Blogger dennis said...

Dennis enjoys reading your blog, and shares your views. Dennis is sorry for your loss.

February 13, 2008 7:36 PM  
Blogger Spartacus said...

PoP - Just keep Murphy in your heart and he will live forever.

February 13, 2008 10:05 PM  
Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Murphy is alive as long as you remember him. He had a great set of parents.

February 13, 2008 10:09 PM  
Blogger susan said...

That's a story I can relate to as well PoP. Garth Coldnose Strongheart, my constant friend and companion for nearly 19 years went into renal failure within days of my son going away to college. It was traumatic. Years later I drew a story that included them both (son is doing fine btw).. called 'baby days'. It's posted on the blog attached to my main one.

Thanks so much for your visit and kind comments today.

February 14, 2008 1:06 PM  
Blogger dguzman said...

Big hugs to ya, PoP.

February 14, 2008 1:16 PM  
Blogger fairlane said...

Shit PoP, I'm sorry I'm late, and I'm sorry for your loss.

Fred is going to have to really step up now, but I'm sure he's up to the challenge.

February 17, 2008 8:22 AM  
Blogger fairlane said...

I forgot to add,

We love you PoP, you're one of the good people.

February 18, 2008 7:38 AM  
Blogger Distributorcap said...

POP

i finally got back and have a chance to send my thoughts and share your grief

losing a pet is not losing a pet, it is losing a family member..... i cant make the pain go away, but just say murphy will always be looking after you, Mr POP and fred.......

fran said it all for me...... you gave murphy 16 of the most wonderful years, and he gave them to you

peace

February 18, 2008 2:14 PM  
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