Friday, April 27, 2007

Can a Cat be in the Doghouse?

Hi, Fred the Cat here. This week I am responsible for a two hundred dollar check Pop had to write.

Here’s what happened. There is a three foot high concrete wall around the pool/patio area. The area is screened from that wall to the top. Lots of times when no one is looking I hop up on the ledge of the wall, stand on my hind legs and stretch against the screen. When I do this I put my front claws into the screen and pull against it. This results in the screen getting torn a little bit at a time. I just keep doing this at different places along the wall and over time I have destroyed six of the screen panels.

The man who replaced the screen panels asked Pop if he could borrow me to teach classes. He wants me to teach other cats my talent for destroying screens. Pop laughed at his joke but she didn’t laugh after she had to write that check. The guy told Pop he was giving her a discount because she was a “repeat customer “ And he knew as long as I’m around he will have future work here.

I think I may be in the doghouse for a while. Then again, she just walked by and scratched my head, which always makes me purr. See ya later. I’m off to test out the new screen panels.

Have a great weekend and keep your paws off the screen.


Blogger Blueberry said...

Fred, you are a real "screen star"! You might want to think about getting a job, maybe just part-time, to help with the screen bills.

April 27, 2007 4:24 AM  
Blogger niCk (Mem Beth) said...

Fred, you are so lucky. Don't you realize they are putting up the screen for your amusement and spending a few bucks to do it. You rule.

April 27, 2007 4:48 AM  
Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

Fred, you better get on the phones and find a cat-proof screening material. Call me when you find it.

April 27, 2007 5:13 AM  
Blogger Undeniable Liberal said...

You and the Pops have a great weekend, Fred!!

April 27, 2007 5:17 AM  
Blogger Women on the Verge said...


There is scratch "resistant" screening out there cause Ethel had to get it for my mom and me. It was awhile ago though. Check it out.
Good luck!!!

April 27, 2007 5:22 AM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Leave those screens alone! Do you want Patricia to get bitten by a giant mosquito and get a fever and have to take to the bed? I didn't think so.

April 27, 2007 6:32 AM  
Blogger Time said...

I'd put in mirrored glass, just to drive you crazy. Be a good pet Fred.

April 27, 2007 6:54 AM  
Blogger betmo said...

yeah- i have to buy special screen because of my yahoos too. i think that they may be distant relatives of fred :)

April 27, 2007 7:20 AM  
Blogger robin andrea said...

We have a kitty scratching post here, but our cat prefers pulling the carpet and rugs apart. I don't know why we put up with these feline bad boys, but we do. Hope y'all a great weekend in martini land, and Fred behaves himself.

April 27, 2007 7:29 AM  
Blogger Aaron A. said...

Fred, your sounding a little like Bush, you screen thirsty fiend.

Please, give screen peace a chance. Your addicted to screen.

(10 lame comment points scored)

April 27, 2007 8:26 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

yo fred, barn monster here. we don't have screen issues out in the barn, there's just not much stuff out here that is breakable or damage worthy. thanks for keeping up the honor of cats everywhere. the peoples need to know that they work for us. death to mices.

April 27, 2007 9:15 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Hiya Fred. One feline to another, if you try the same thing on PoP's mesh bikini (if she has one), you'll be in even more trouble.

April 27, 2007 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Knox Rover said...

Yes, cats can be in the doghouse, Fred. My kitten, Simone, thinks it's fun to steal things off my desk. Last week, she stole my USB flash drive and lost it. I wasn't happy.

April 27, 2007 11:39 AM  
Anonymous LIly said...

Uh oh! My cat is too lazy for mischief usually.

April 27, 2007 1:27 PM  
Blogger Fixer said...

Well hell, at least she can't cut your nuts off ... oh wait ...

April 27, 2007 3:52 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

My, my, Fred, do you want to find yourself on the outside looking in?

April 27, 2007 4:01 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

what a life you have there!

April 27, 2007 6:16 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

Fred...if you like your'd better go with the flow...or they could suddenly stop mysteriously.

April 27, 2007 11:56 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Put pepper on the screen.

April 28, 2007 3:06 PM  
Blogger C-dell said...

Well, that is certainly a crazy story. Tell Fred to be careful. Stop by and comment sometime.

April 28, 2007 8:47 PM  
Blogger bluegrrrrl said...

cats and screens...i'm convinced it's a genetic predisposition. i still have a big hole in one of my screens, made by my old cat artemis in one of her infamous escapes. i don't have the heart to replace the screen because looking at it brings back fond memories of her spunk and attitude!

try to behave yourself, fred...

April 29, 2007 6:24 AM  
Blogger The Truffle said...

Hey Fred! You have a scratching post, right? If not, maybe Pop could get one for you.

My family once owned a brown tiger tabby named Lily. Lily used to jump up and stick to the screen door. I'd open the door and there she'd be, meowing. "Help? I don't know how to get down from here. Help? HELP?"

April 29, 2007 1:23 PM  
Blogger Gort said...

Cat's love to dig screens and furniture.

April 29, 2007 7:21 PM  
Anonymous oldwhitelady said...

At least you have your claws. I'm happy for you. So many cats have theirs removed. Not to worry about my cats, there are 5 clawed felines residing here. The youngest has a screen fetish just like you. I was taking a nap one day, and heard something. She had jumped up to the top part of the back door (where there's a small window) and was hanging there on the screen. It needs to be replaced. There are others, too, that need to be replaced. I'm glad you mentioned it, so I can remember to do that, too.

April 29, 2007 8:21 PM  
Blogger B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Are you scratching them to get out, and just can't be bothered to find the door?

Sending a rub for under your chin.

Bob :@}

April 30, 2007 5:52 PM  
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