Monday, November 24, 2008

Sarah Palin says Thanksgiving grace before dinner

Our heavenly Father, we thank ya for this food we’re about to receive. Also a big shout out to the first heavenly Dude, your son, Jesus. He’s totally awesome!

We thank you for this food and all the fixins we are about to eat up and such. I am sure by now you saw the video of me, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, pardoning that turkey last week. Did ja get a shot of what was going on behind me? I was showing my lipsticked pit bull side as I stood just out of spewin’ range of that the blood spewin’ turkey head cuttin’ off machine thingie. I was pretty cool, huh?

I have a long list of things to be thankful for this year but I’ll have to get back to ya with that. You will notice that John McCain’s name won’t be on that list because he got in my way. The RNC will be on there for allowin’ me to play fancy dress up there for a little while. On that list also will be the names of my children, my two boys, Sack and Sprig along with my three lovely daughters, Blister, Pillow and Pooper. I have been kinda busy recently runnin’ for president…oops, I mean vice president, so the first Dude of Alaska has been dealing with the kids and such as. Around here we call him a daddy machine on a snow machine. Drill baby, drill!

In closing Father, I’ll just ask that all the terrorist burn in hell, that our country supports our troops, that Barack Obama stops palin’ around with terrorists and that Putin doesn’t try to sneak over into the US via Alaska. I’m as always vigilant and on watch for him. Can you count on me? You betcha!

Here’s a big flirty wink just for you big holy guy, from me, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska.

I’m sending a great big old Alaskan Amen to You. Talk to you again in 2012. I may be askin’ for a little favor or two at that time.
Happy Thanksgiving Father! See ya!


Blogger Matthew Hubbard said...

God just needs to give her another open door, you betcha, 'cause somebody slammed the door hard on her foot this last time.

When I see Ms. Palin and our current president, I am reminded that one of the things that makes stupidity such a powerful force in the world is that stupid people are so stupid, they don't actually realize that they are stupid.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

November 24, 2008 2:58 AM  
Blogger Fixer said...

Heh ...

November 24, 2008 3:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tolaerance and aceptance...the hasllmarks of true liberals!

November 24, 2008 5:08 AM  
Blogger Fran said...

This is hilarious! Great!!

That whole turkey head thing- it was so Marie Antoinette-ish!! UGH. Off with their bloody heads and all that.

November 24, 2008 5:39 AM  
Blogger FreakyNick said...

Suddenly, I've lost my appetite.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but Sarah can take anything and turn it creepy and perverted.

Can you imagine want the turkey was trying to gobble as irt went into the decapitation machine: "WHOO! Wait a minute guys, I was just pardoned by the Governor, really it was me, just ask her yourself, she's standing right over there, Governor Palin!, yoo-hoo, SARAH! No guys, I was really pardoned, ask her yourself, no don't put me in that machine, no, I was pard..." KACHUNG!

Silence.....except for the voice of Sarah Palin being interviewed.

November 24, 2008 6:04 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I love it....

November 24, 2008 6:07 AM  
Blogger FreakyNick said...

I hope they let Dick Cheney out on the lawn of the White House while Dubya's pardoning the "National Turkey".

Actually, the bird would be safe, but no else would be.

November 24, 2008 6:09 AM  
Blogger Sherry Pasquarello said...

terrific. thaks, gave me a smile!

November 24, 2008 6:56 AM  
Blogger Taradharma said...

oh gosh darn it, this lil' lady is going places! Turkey farms and such, doncha know? Maybe Alaska could put a big electrical fence all around the Gov's house and put her on a cute lil' doggie shock collar. She needs to stay home and take are of all those darned - I mean beautiful of course - babies (and grandbabies)!!! She could do her Gov job on-line and phone in the rest. (Don't she do that already?)

November 24, 2008 7:08 AM  
Blogger roger said...

you have a future as a presidential speechwriter pop. move over peggy noonan!

we can learn to tolerate and accept delusional ignorance. we have, after all, just had eight years of practice.

November 24, 2008 7:30 AM  
Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Geez, how can you just act like that's not happening in the background?

So friggin' callous.

November 24, 2008 8:15 AM  
Blogger dguzman said...

As if your post didn't kill me enough, NiCk's comment did the job.

Brilliant, PoP.

November 24, 2008 10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps next time she should do an interview from inside an abortion clinic. Would you all react the same way?

November 24, 2008 10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, POP, I didn't know you were still going.

You may remember me as Daniel from Seeking Utopia but I got a name change and became DavidG and I got a new blog too!

Like your post! Catch you and take care.

November 24, 2008 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still trying to wear the halo and wings aren'cha? heh. Nice prayer PoP!

November 29, 2008 2:52 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home