Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A Day and A Decision

I’m writing this at about two o’clock yesterday afternoon.

Today, Monday, Mr. Pop and I have made a decision we never wanted to have to make. No pet owner wants to have to make this decision. But there comes a time you know you have to let go.

Murphy’s body has been failing him after over 16 years of life. As of late his brain has failed him too. The vet said it is a canine dementia. After he eats his meal, he doesn’t remember that he has eaten and continues for hours to pace and search for more food. He doesn’t respond to affection from us or acknowledge our presence.

There is a medication the vet could try, but at his age and in his condition we refuse to put him through anything else. It’s time to allow him to leave us. By the time I post this and you read it, he will be gone, but he’ll be in our hearts forever.

I had to write this yesterday because I knew that by this morning I wouldn’t be able to write anything. I know you understand.


Blogger Fixer said...

Aw shit, I'm sorry, POP. Mrs. F and Shayna send condolences along too. He'll be waiting at the Bridge.

February 12, 2008 2:58 AM  
Blogger Fran said...

Oh my dear PoP and Mr. PoP... my heart is breaking for you and with you.

It is truly the hardest decision to make; I have had to make it too.

Sending you lots of thoughts of love, healing, light and peace.

February 12, 2008 3:02 AM  
Blogger Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

I'm so sorry.

February 12, 2008 4:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so, so sorry, PoP. I know what a heart-breaking decision that is, and I'll be making it for my 16-year-old cat, Toby, pretty soon, as he is beginning kidney failure. Murphy was a lucky dog to have been loved by you and Mr. PoP. You'll be in my thoughts today.

February 12, 2008 4:24 AM  
Blogger Sherry Pasquarello said...

i'm so sorry. i know how i have felt each time that decision had to be made. my beloved chester was 13 and a half and tho it's been a few years now i still miss him so much. my emma too.

blessings on you and yours.

February 12, 2008 5:04 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

A tough decision PoP but one that had to be made. There comes a time when our little friends need to go. Madam and I have had to do it several times and it never gets any easier.
Thinking of you.

February 12, 2008 5:07 AM  
Blogger billie said...

man. i am so sorry. it was the right thing to do but doesn't make it any easier. my heart is with yours.

February 12, 2008 5:18 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...


Blessings, blessings.


February 12, 2008 5:47 AM  
Blogger JM said...

Our sincerest condolences are with you in this time of loss.

February 12, 2008 6:02 AM  
Blogger Jazz said...

It's a horrible decision to make (been there)but you have to trust that it was the right decision. Multiple hugs.

February 12, 2008 6:20 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Very sorry to hear that. Few things can be tougher than that.

February 12, 2008 6:30 AM  
Blogger FreakyNick said...

I have no words for this, just tears. It is the merciful thinig to do. I wish you Peace.

February 12, 2008 6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

POP, My heart goes out to you and Mr. Pop on your loss of Murphy. Just know though (he???) has left you physically, he will always remain alive in your memories and dreams. Peace to you on this saddest of days...

February 12, 2008 6:46 AM  
Blogger Mary Ellen said...

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this, it's one of the most heart wrenching things to go through. But you are making the right decision for all the right reasons. My thoughts are with you and your husband. Take the time you need to grieve.

February 12, 2008 7:05 AM  
Blogger Forty Paws said...

Our thoughts and purrayers are with you, Mr. PoP, and Fred. Sending headbutts, purrs, and healing hugs. Murphy will be waiting for you at The Bridge.

Luf, Us

February 12, 2008 7:09 AM  
Blogger Bobby D. said...

I can only hope that when it is my time to go, my humans will take me to the vet rather than leave me to suffer (an to possibly die alone while they are at work)

To go with dignity and less suffering is so important.

Take care of yourself. Try to nap.

February 12, 2008 7:23 AM  
Blogger eProf2 said...

PoP, sorry to hear about Murphy and your loss. Murphy has been a "friend" of mine every bit as much as Fred has been these past two years. You've made the right decision, albeit, a very difficult one. I just hope when I get to 16 dog years that our society will make it possible for me and lots others to leave in dignity like Murphy. Oregon so far is the only state that allows physician assisted death. It's time for the rest of the nation to catch up with Oregon. I'll lift my martini glass to Murphy tonight. Take care.

February 12, 2008 7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The short lifespans of dogs and cats is one of life's biggest injustices. I've been through this twice in the past two years, and no, being the right thing to do does not make it easy. My condolences, and I'll join eprof2 in that toast this evening.

February 12, 2008 8:30 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

i take the death of a critter much harder than i take the death of a people. you get a better kind of love from animals, especially dogs. my thoughts are with you in this time.

February 12, 2008 8:39 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Well crap, blogger ate my comment.

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It's a hard decision to make to put a pet down.

You have my deepest sympathies.

February 12, 2008 8:41 AM  
Blogger MandT said...

Bodhi and we send our thoughts. The journey of loss never gets easier. Peace MandT

February 12, 2008 8:42 AM  
Blogger Targa said...

Really sorry to hear the news.

February 12, 2008 9:42 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Sorry for your loss, but it prob was the best decision for you all Love MOMMA

February 12, 2008 9:48 AM  
Blogger Don said...

That has to be tough. Reminds me of a dog we had to let go of, growing up. We considered him family just like you and your husband consider Murphy.

16 years...thats real.

Stay up.

Sidebar: Sorry I misunderstood Mr. Pop has your husband yesterday.

February 12, 2008 9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about Murphy. My parents have had bichons for years. They are a very smart, loyal, and fun-loving breed.

February 12, 2008 9:58 AM  
Blogger DBK said...

So sorry to hear it, PoP. I know what it feels like and I remember having to make that decision like it was yesterday. It's one of the worst feelings in the world, but it's also the one where you get to show your friend how much you loved him, because you are truly deciding what is in his best interest. It's a decision you make out of love and the agony is produced by wanting him to be with you forever.

I have tears in my eyes thinking about it.

February 12, 2008 10:01 AM  
Blogger Middle Ditch said...

This happened to my twenty-three-year-old cat. He was total senile. Like your poor dog he would forget instantly what he had done a minute beforehand. Also I had to put him in a confined space during the night otherwise he would wake the whole household with his yowling as he was completely lost after a few steps.

Physically he was in excellent condition but he would have needed twentyfour seven care and I just could not give him that and he had to go.

Rest in peace both of you lovely creatures.

February 12, 2008 10:14 AM  
Blogger isabelita said...

Please accept my sympathy. It's so hard; we had an almost 22 year old cat who needed to be put to sleep several years ago, and more recently, a 12 year old cat. Even though it's absolutely humane to not make them linger on for our sakes, it's damned difficult to do.
Hope your hearts mend soon.

February 12, 2008 11:01 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

Our Bridget had the dogzheimer's too. She and Murphy are sniffin' each others butts as we speak, tails a-waggin'.

February 12, 2008 11:03 AM  
Blogger Forrest Proper said...

I'm so sorry to read this. We had to do this for our Husky 'Perry' a few years ago. It sucks big time. Our thoughts are with you.

February 12, 2008 11:42 AM  
Blogger The Culture Ghost said...

Damn, this is dreadful news. I'm so sorry. There is nothing quite like the space they (our furry family members) occupy in our hearts and lives. And the space we occupy in their hearts and lives.

Our house sends warm light and blessings to your house.

February 12, 2008 12:01 PM  
Blogger ThePoliticalCat said...

I'm so sorry, POP. It's a terrible hard decision to make, and all the kindly words in the world don't make you feel better. I, who refuse to cry at the death of a human, broke down and cried like a fool when I had to do the same for faithful, loving Corky. Cry all you want, take a bottle of wine to bed with you, find a support group (you don't have to join, just loiter around till the saccharine makes you ill).

Sixteen years is a long time to have a loving relationship with someone. And yet we enter into every relationship with a beloved animal with our hearts wide open and take our fill of love and joy. While it lasts.

It stops hurting eventually. That's all I can say.

February 12, 2008 12:01 PM  
Blogger SouthLoopScot said...

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm not looking forward to the day when our dogs get that way.

It's just to bad they can't live a s long as us. Pets are a real gift.

February 12, 2008 12:01 PM  
Blogger WeezieLou said...

there is no harder thing. there is but one time we must give as unselfishly as our babies give to us - and that is helping them go when it's time. and i do believe very much in the rainbow bridge. be easy with yourselves for a good long time

February 12, 2008 3:03 PM  
Blogger jmsjoin said...

I'm so sorry Mr. and Mrs. POPS! I am sure he had a good life with you and you'll always have him in your heart. peace!

February 12, 2008 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 12, 2008 6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PoP - I'm so sorry about your loss.

February 12, 2008 6:46 PM  
Blogger leftdog said...

I'm very sorry to hear of this. I went through the exact same thing 3 weeks ago with my old timer. You have friends who know exactly how you are feeling.
Take care ....

February 12, 2008 8:52 PM  
Blogger JS said...

I am very sorry for your loss. You can be as close to a pet as you can be to any human. When you make the decision to stop them from suffering, it's the right decision, but so damn hard to make and their loss is so damn hard to take. I hope your hearts mend soon.

February 12, 2008 9:23 PM  
Blogger D.K. Raed said...

I'm so sorry, PoP. It's very hard to let them go, I know. If my dog-calculator is correct, Murphy was 94 in human yrs. I just looked back to that great xmas pic you put of him. What a sweetheart! RiP, Murphy, what a good boy.

February 13, 2008 12:13 AM  
Blogger The Future Was Yesterday said...

I had to travel that path some years ago. I'm sure it is an ache in your heart that is an endless void, and words are meaningless, as they were to me. At the same time, you gave Murphy your final, and greatest, gesture of respect - you refused to let a close friend suffer anymore.

May your suffering somehow heal....

February 13, 2008 12:41 AM  
Blogger Kathy Rogers said...

Aw, poor Murphy. I'm sorry, you guys.

February 13, 2008 5:35 AM  
Blogger Agi said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I went through this last year. We had to put down Rocky, the family pug of 12 years. As sad as it was, two weeks later my mom got a little black pug puppy. Now he brings joy to their home.

February 13, 2008 6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Murphy, Rest in Peace,
PoP and Mr. PoP, may you find peace soon. My heart is with you both.

February 13, 2008 7:04 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'm so very sorry to learn of this. My heart is with you!

February 13, 2008 9:01 AM  
Blogger Sewmouse said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, PoP...

February 13, 2008 9:43 AM  
Blogger dennis said...

Dennis is sorry for your loss. You are such a sweet person.

February 13, 2008 7:37 PM  
Blogger Chris Casey said...

My freddy the Cocker was almost 17 when we made the decision. He was in pain, and I held him as the Vet administered the dose. My wife and I never cried so much in our lives. My thoughts are with you.

February 14, 2008 6:02 AM  
Blogger Blueberry said...

Our deepest condolences on the loss of Murphy. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. When someone is so loved, it's a shame to keep them a secret. We lost two of our fur-babies (kitties) last year and know how painful it is for the PoPs right now.

February 14, 2008 6:19 AM  
Blogger La Belette Rouge said...

I am so sorry. I know how hard it is. I truly wish I could do something to lessen the pain. The loss of a pet is just unbearable. I lost my long time pal, Sparkey, in July and I still can't believe he is gone.
Take very good care of your self.
My sincerest condolences.

February 14, 2008 6:42 AM  
Blogger Swinebread said...

I'm thinking of You POP, I hope you can get through this.

February 14, 2008 10:04 AM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

the deepest condolences...and much light and love....there is nothing that is so hard is saying goodbye to such a friend...you will see him again he will be waiting for you on the other side....wagging his tail....namaste...

February 14, 2008 1:57 PM  
Blogger Suzi Riot said...

I am very, very late to this and I apologize. I am so very sorry for your loss. I have four dogs myself and since Mr. Riot and I don't have kids, they're family to us. The oldest is 9 and is starting to show signs of decline. It's breaking our hearts.

You made the decision that was best for Murphy. My thoughts are with you.

February 14, 2008 7:18 PM  
Blogger Steve Bates said...

Oh, POP, I'm so very, very sorry. All of us who love our creatures face that decision at some point. It's been several years for me, but reading about Murphy and your loss brought back the feeling I know you must have had at the time. I don't need to tell you that you made the right decision for Murphy's sake; if there's anything worse than physical decline, it's dementia... but I know that doesn't make it easier for you. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and Mr. POP. Please take good care of yourselves, and of your other critters.

February 14, 2008 10:18 PM  
Blogger WendyB said...

I'm sorry for your loss. You did the right thing for him. My dog Mr. Chubbs was in the same condition when we put him down. I wish I'd done it for Chubbs sooner because his last six months were pretty terrible.

February 15, 2008 11:51 AM  
Blogger Granny said...

Very late - computer down.

I'm so sorry. We've had to do that more than once and it's always hard.

February 18, 2008 9:08 AM  
Blogger Blue said...

Pop, I am so, so, so, so sorry to hear about Murphy's passing, and believe me I understand what a gruelling decision that was. I have had to make a few of those decisions in my life, and it is never easy. It is always the humane thing to do...but never easy. I had a very close call with Stella around the same time and thought I was going to lose her, but we were able to bring her back, and I feel even more fortunate about that after reading about your loss.

Strangely, you and Murphy have both been in my thoughts the past couple of weeks. I'm no longer blogging and am out of touch with the people I care about in the blogosphere--but somehow many of you stay in my thoughts.

Stella and I are sending you a huge hug. If you want to email me: bluegrrrrl@cox.net

February 27, 2008 7:08 PM  
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