Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A Political Test

I think I may have written about this before, if so, I’m writing about it again.

I have this little question I ask about the candidates every political season. I ask myself which candidate I would trust enough to turn my home over to for one month? If I went away for a month, who would I trust with my checkbook to pay the monthly bills? Who would I trust to care for my house, pets, plants and the general everyday running of my home?

This year that question isn’t left hanging too long. Imagine what I would come home to if I left McCain in charge.


Blogger Distributorcap said...

actually if you left John and Cindy in charge the place would be pretty clean -- being the down to earth people they are, they would hire a maid, gardener, cook and other assorted "little people" to do their bidding.

after all, obama who was raised by a single parent and worked his ass off to get to harvard and ahead and married a working girl from south Chicago is the ELITIST

also acc'd to mccain, obama being the celebrity would have wild parties with Paris and Britney and of course Obama would turn your house into a muslim school to teach fundamentalism...

yes mccain is the guy to have in your house

just be sure to de-LOUSE it when they leave

August 12, 2008 4:17 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

We have a saying around here: Obama doesn't care about kittens.

(It means, in a nutshell, that a person has to dig so deep to find something not to like, that s/he ends up just making up something utterly horrible and untrue not to like. In case you didn't figure that out.)

McCain, on the other hand, has a long, boast-worthy history with kittens. Since Fred is a male, though, I think you'd be able to leave him with McCain for a month without supplying condoms.

Let's just hope this kitten-loving Tom follows in Dole's footsteps:


August 12, 2008 4:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In addition to the maid, gardener, cook and other assorted "little people" that distributorcap mentioned, you'd also find the bill for all those services, just like American taxpayers will eventually get the bill for Bush/McCain vodoo economics.

August 12, 2008 5:32 AM  
Blogger FreakyNick said...

This whole thing about him being computer illiterate is enough for me to say I don't want that kind of ignorance in charge of the whole country.

That would have been like electing a president in the late 1700's or early 1800's who couldn't read or do math.

His computer illiterance alone boggles my mind, I mean even dumbass W can use The Google on the internets and do the map thingy.

As for taking care of the house, plants, pets...... I'd recommend him to all my neighbors that I didn't like.

August 12, 2008 5:34 AM  
Blogger Sherry Pasquarello said...

i wouldn't have to worry if mccain cared for my home.
i'd be in some prison somewhere for disagreeing with the republicans.

August 12, 2008 5:45 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I trust neither. McCain would, in fits of rage, destroy most of my stuff and Obama would just jet off to the foreign nation of Hawaii to do lines of blow or whatever it is elitists do these days.

August 12, 2008 7:03 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I wonder who would change McCain's diapers if you left him at your house alone?

You'd probably come home to a house full of dirty adult diapers.

It'd be the same if you left Bush in charge.

August 12, 2008 8:14 AM  
Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

That's a really good way of putting it, as we really ARE giving them the keys to The House for four years.

Holy cow, what horrors are lurking there that need cleaned up right this minute?

August 12, 2008 8:16 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

I don't believe trustworthy is a word you could use to describe any politician. That's just where I am with it all at this point.

August 12, 2008 8:44 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

McCain is like McCauley Culkin with wrinkles.

August 12, 2008 9:22 AM  
Blogger two crows said...

tho the bloom is off the rose with Obama, for me, these days-- I think I would come home to find an intact _house_, at least.

with McCain, I think I'd come home to find the house neglected to the point that it had burned to the ground. and he would've canceled my insurance in an effort to cut costs -- seeing as how he doesn't understand economics and it's all psychological, anyhow.

August 12, 2008 10:07 AM  
Blogger Matthew Hubbard said...

The McCains might forget to send in your property taxes, and you can be assured the medicine chest will be empty, but other than that it's just the loud drunken parties with his lobbyist pals and maybe a few guys from Sturgis who hooked him up with a good meth supplier. Nothing to worry about.

August 12, 2008 10:10 AM  
Blogger WeezieLou said...

McCain would use a props in my house to both sit behind, and have as a back-drop as he declared a 100,000 troop surge in Iraq.

As the bloom is off the rose for me as well, Obama would turn the place into a Starbucks.

August 12, 2008 11:42 AM  
Blogger Darwin's Dagger said...

Guess Obamessiah peaked a little early. Though I'm thinking after the 1st debate he'll reclaim some of his divine status.

August 12, 2008 11:59 AM  
Blogger Fran said...

John McCain will sell your house while you are away... in a real estate version of what he did to his first wife.

And then he will apologize about the crappy price he sold it at - bad market, sorry.

And you won't get anything other than very fucking angry.

August 12, 2008 2:13 PM  
Blogger jmsjoin said...

Very Good! I would trust Obama implicitly especially if he had his wife with him!

August 12, 2008 3:21 PM  
Blogger Forty Paws said...

McCain just grosses Maw out so bad.

Luf, Us

August 13, 2008 8:08 AM  
Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Hookers and blow.

August 13, 2008 9:30 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

I never thought of that before, and it's an excellent criterion.

August 13, 2008 10:02 AM  
Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

McCain would steal all of your Abba records.

August 13, 2008 12:14 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

I believe the GOP addresses problems with quick fixes and touch-ups designed to distract us from the real problems at hand. The Dems don't do much better, but I think they at least want to attack problems by finding ways to solve them at the roots. I think McCain and Obama would take care of my house based on their philosophical/political approaches.

With McCain in charge, attention would be paid to the more visible parts of the home. mostly ones that wouldn't need attention; he might do a patch job here or there with the intent of making me think he had done something to help the place, while in reality he wouldn't really give a shit about anything but appearances. He would put up some nice paintings inside, and some planters on the front porch. He might do some paint touch-ups, but he wouldn't do anything to the my house's structure. That would cost too much.

With Obama in charge, my home's foundation would have gotten a repair it currently needs; the basement wouldn't leak any more. The exterior paint would be redone, and a couple of spots of dry rot in the siding would be replaced. The innards of the house would be addressed too... it still has some old knob-and-tube wiring in the upstairs, and I think Obama would replace it with up-to-date stuff. If there was money somewhere to do it, he might also replace my home's crappy floor coverings!

Obama would be a more involved caretaker and would care more about the house. McCain would be less involved as a caretaker, and he would care more about his image as caretaker.

August 14, 2008 12:26 AM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Very interesting way of looking at it. I have to say definitely Obama because he sees both sides of things, thinks things through, doesn't make hasty decisions - just like my husband. (He keeps my impulse purchasing under control!).

August 17, 2008 12:04 PM  
Blogger The Truffle said...

McLame would spend that month sitting in front of the TV, watching reruns of "Bewitched" and "Hogan's Heros," eating potato chips, and yelling for Cindy to bring him a beer.

August 19, 2008 7:35 AM  

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