Monday, February 19, 2007

Dear Paris Hilton

Ms Hilton I am begging you to do something outrageous. It took Britney, in a state of well, I don’t know what mental state she was in when she shaved her head and tattooed her bod, to get dead Anna Nicole off the continuous headline news. Now we are being smothered with 24/7 bald Britney news. If you, Ms Hilton, would do something equally outrageous, I believe you could de-Britney the news. By doing this you would also be doing your country a great service as you would be helping to keep the real news that effects all Americans out of the headlines of “breaking news”.

You know, that war in Iraq and the other one in Afghanistan? Yeah, you might have heard about them. They are the ones where people are being killed by the dozens every day. We here in America would rather read and hear about crazy women doing wacky things than face reality. Even dead wacky women, who none of us ever even cared about, get more attention today than our soldiers do. We all support the troops, but man we love news about freaky women. Yeah, even the one who wore a diaper in pursuit of her love jones.

I would be asking one or both of the Bush twins to perform this favor, but I have no idea where they are these days. So, Ms Hilton, if you could work something really bizarre and weird into your busy schedule, we surely would appreciate your effort. God forbid we should actually be forced to face reality. Reality is so ugly and such a bummer. It’s such a downer too. We need you to step up now and help us prolong the surge of real news that we fear might be coming our way. America is much more interested in what people like you are up to than they are about downer, bummer, stuff like war and such. Ms Hilton, can we count on you?


Blogger Coffee Messiah said...

I still imagine what it would be like for people to really care about others, dp something positive,and stop paying so much attention to "news" that "isn't!"

Glad I'm not holding my breath! ; (

February 20, 2007 2:22 AM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

I wonder if excessive use of peroxide leads to erratic behavior? It would explain a lot.

February 20, 2007 3:19 AM  
Blogger Undeniable Liberal said...

Amen, POP! Must....have.....distraction....

February 20, 2007 3:32 AM  
Blogger JM said...

As always, the MSM has its' typical sense of priorities in action. The assumption that we've been "dumbed down" enough not to notice is true too many times.

February 20, 2007 5:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be careful what you ask for, just might get it!

February 20, 2007 6:12 AM  
Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

Maybe if all the wounded soldiers shaved their heads and got tatoos, the media would pay attention to them too. Hey! How would it be if the whole country shaved their heads and marched on D.C.? No, I've got it - lets capture the Bush administration and shave their heads! Man, give me a buzzing razor and I just go wild.

February 20, 2007 6:16 AM  
Blogger Pogo said...

Yup, that's all we need- one more bald, no talent, semi-attractive twentysomething party girl to take our minds off trivial things like Iraq and getting the Repugs relegated to minority status for the foreseeable future.

February 20, 2007 6:41 AM  
Blogger Geoffrey Milder said...

I know that deep down in my heart, that there's a certain female NASA astronaut that is very thankful for dead Playmates and shaved-head pop princesses. You've got to love a culture that simply moves from one social indignity to the next.


February 20, 2007 6:56 AM  
Blogger SB Gypsy said...


February 20, 2007 6:59 AM  
Blogger FreakyNick said...

And we wonder why the rest off the world laughs at us.

February 20, 2007 7:08 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

I hope your wish doesn't come truw PoP. I don't know if can take the depression of watching another fake news story right now. With all the real news being ignored for this crap it is no wonder the rest of the world thinks we're stupid.

February 20, 2007 7:28 AM  
Blogger DBK said...

I am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

February 20, 2007 7:30 AM  
Blogger robin andrea said...

Isn't it time we all open our windows and yell, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." Enough with dead bald tattooed famous for being famous people. What's wrong with our country, isn't this a sign that we really are a culture in serious decline?

February 20, 2007 8:28 AM  
Blogger Frederick said...

Enlist, Paris!

February 20, 2007 8:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bread and circuses and no shared sacrifice. Sound familiar? Let the poor bleed and die so the rich and famous can party on. We're on the road to fascism but hardly anybody knows because all we get is bald Britney and porno Hilton.....sad.

February 20, 2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

These no talent nitwits don't need any encouragement, but thanks for stirring the pot.

Our young fighting boys would probably love to get with the bald bimbo.

Her best move now, would be to get on the Iraq USO tour.

February 20, 2007 11:18 AM  
Blogger isabelita said...

Well, they used to have public executions back in Merrie Olde England not that long ago. You know, that stiff upper lipped country from which many white and delightsome men over here got their bright ideas about who deserves to rule and which color of race is bestest? And still think along those lines?
Britney's just a silly sideshow. Hope that we don't start having televised executions.

February 20, 2007 11:59 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...


This honestly had me laughing out loud a real one and not a lol! I was just saying nearly the same thing minus Paris, but that with all the coverage of Anna & Brittany did anyone hear about the no confidence vote? Daily death toll in Iraq? Anything that was relevant ?!? Ummmm probably not………and why ? Because it’s just too important for the world to know which ‘star’ is sleeping with another or who is having a break down blah, blah, blah….One person I am sure isn’t complaining…..GWB…..

February 20, 2007 1:39 PM  
Blogger isabelita said...

Britney Spears's shaved head looks like a big old scrotum! (How's that for combining a couple of dumbass issues?)

February 20, 2007 3:15 PM  
Blogger Donnie McDaniel said...

Nice snary post POP!

PCM, actually, we are discussing the shave head protest over at Dizzy Dezzi's blog.

February 20, 2007 3:20 PM  
Blogger BBC said...

Please don't subject me to another story involving Paris.


I only read the first nonsense and then ignore the rest of that crap.

It was interesting to read that so many attractive women and past play boy bunnies never make it to 50. Interesting.

And Paris isn't even attractive. Think she will make it to 40?

February 20, 2007 5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wanting to be famous, and never mind how, is absolutely a global phenomenom. You, Americans, might have "invented" this, but rest assured that the rest of us are laping it up like Fred the Cat laps up his cream.

February 20, 2007 6:16 PM  
Blogger The Future Was Yesterday said...

I had to smile at the truths you wrote tongue in cheek. I called my wife in to read it, as she fiercely detests Hilton et al. I mentioned to her maybe I should offer to shave my ass and walk backwards, but she correctly noted we already have one in Washington, why one in Hicksville as well?

February 20, 2007 9:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home