Mr. and Ms. Pop, after a leisurely sleep until long after sunrise, don their spiffy casual vacation clothes and head out in their all American minivan for breakfast. This is one of Ms. Pop’s favorite rituals of any vacation, she loves going out for breakfast.
Mr. Pop is driving the speed limit for just about all of Sanibel Island, 30 mph. They approach a four way stop. Three of the streets that intersect this stop are roadways and one is a public walking entrance to the beach. The three streets are visually clear but the entrance to the beach is somewhat hidden by bushes along the edge of the road. Mr. Pop eases past the stop sign in order to see around the bushes in case someone might be about to cross the street. Dum-da-dum-dum, there behind the bushes sits a POLICE CAR.
Mr. Pop, after his stop, proceeds to make his turn left. That’s when it began. The officer in the police car turns on all the flashing lights on his great big police car and pulls up behind the now cursing Mr. Pop. Mr. Pop pulls over on the shoulder of the road and brings the minivan to a stop along with a blue streak of curse words. The officer emerges from his great big police car with lots of flashing lights and cautiously approaches Mr. Pop’s side of the now nervous little minivan. Officer big car with lots of flashing lights asks Mr. Pop for his license and registration. Then he informs Mr. Pop that he rolled five feet beyond the stop sign. Officer big car with lots of flashing lights asks Mr. Pop if he has a “good reason” for committing this crime. Mr. Pop says he does not. (Mr. Pop is no dummy and knows that arguing with a policeman is not a Mensa sort of thing to do.) Mr. Pop has to unfasten his seat belt to retrieve his wallet from the his pocket. His drivers license resides in his wallet.
Then Officer big car with lots of flashing lights goes back to his car to “run a check” on Mr. Pop’s license. While he does this Mr. and Ms Pop scramble around in the glove compartment searching for the registration. Weee! They find it.
The Officer returns and again gingerly approaches Mr. Pop’s outstretched hand which holds the treasured registration. Officer big car with lots of flashing lights examines the little piece of paper and then asks Mr. Pop when was the last time he received a driving citation. (This is when Mr. Pop is tempted to ask, isn’t that the reason the officer just “ran” his drivers license? Must be a test. But again, he’s no dummy) Mr. Pop tells Officer big car with lots of flashing lights he believes it was back in his 20’s. The officer nods, so we assume Mr. Pop has passed this test. Then Officer big car with lots of flashing lights decided to pull a pop quiz on Mr. Pop. He ask, “Is there a good reason that you aren’t wearing your seat belt right now?” The officer is looking like this might make or break Mr. Pop’s pending prison term. Mr. Pop, who wears his seat belt to back the car out of the garage to wash it, explains that he took off his seat belt in order to retrieve his wallet and remove his driver’s license at the officer’s request. (Mr. Pop wants to also add that he isn’t driving at the moment and the car is stopped. He is tempted to return the question and ask the officer why he isn’t wearing his seat belt right now, but he doesn’t. Mr. Pop has always been securely lashed onto the turnip truck)
Now the very serious, Officer big car with lots of flashing lights, tells Mr. Pop that committing the crime of not stopping at the exact spot of the stop sign is the way that people get “runned over”. (Mr. Pop wants to tell the officer that people get “runned over” by walking into traffic, but thinks better of that statement.)
Officer big car with lots of flashing lights, tells Mr. Pop if he gives him a ticket it will amount to $170.00 and four points on his license. Silence ensues. Mr. Pop says nothing. Ms Pop for some reason is about to explode in laughter due to the officer’s way too GD serious attitude.
Officer big car with lots of flashing lights, finds it in his instructive authoritative heart to allow this, still wet behind the ears, criminal to proceed without penalty. Mr. Pop politely thanks the officer for his understanding. Mr. Pop is being allowed to escape and free to go on his wicked criminally inclined way. He’s no longer a threat to society.
The officer returns to his big car with lots of lights that are still flashing and the Pops buckle up and drive carefully on their way. As soon as the big car with lots of flashing lights is no longer visible in the rearview mirror, the little Pop minivan erupts in relieved laughter. They had escaped being sent to prison, Gitmo and the dark secret foreign prisons. They had learned how people get “runned over” too. Thanks to the wisdom of Officer big car with lots of flashing lights the Pops were on the road to safety and had enough ammo to laugh for days to come.